Every time I visit the Henry Moore gallery at Tate Britain, I’m overwhelmed by a sense of peace and tranquility. When I’ve had a horrifically busy day at work and haven’t stopped for a minute, a quick visit to this gallery rejuvenates my mind and soul.
The gallery walls are painted a pale blue and provide the perfect back drop to the sublime sculptures and I think they contribute to my feeling of peace when I’m here. There’s a big seat to the side of the room, where I like to sit and survey the gallery and it feels like my personal art gallery, just for those precious moments when there aren’t any other visitors there. I invite you to have a wander, take a seat even, and stop for a while to tap into that feeling of serenity too.
Why start a blog? Because I want everyone to read about my photogenic, action-packed, trendy life? No. A far cry from that, #ifonly!
Over the last year, I’ve been slowly coming to terms with the fact that I’ve put my work above everything else in my life. Above my love for dancing, above my passion for print making and crafting, above my family, my friends, my partner, and, most importantly, above myself and my health.
I first realised this last October, when, feeling completely burnt out by my crazy work schedule, I took myself off to Grayshott Spa to recharge my batteries over half term. I spent a week sleeping whenever I wanted to, eating good food, making new friends and resting my oh so weary brain. I worked with some wonderful massage therapists, who made my body relax properly and I realised I was in really bad shape. For the first time in years, I turned off my phone and my emails. It was revelatory. I started to feel like myself again and I started to refill my energy wells. It was clear that a change was in order and I needed to look after myself again. I vowed that I would start a blog to keep me on track with this new commitment to myself and that I would do this on my return to London.
It’s the end of May now, so clearly that didn’t happen. Instead, I went straight back to my old habits of working from 5am to midnight most days and made zero time for myself. I felt really disappointed with myself, but I kept telling myself that my work was more important and that I should put the needs of my children and staff before my own. Was it the right thing to do? At the time, it certainly felt like it, but then I became more and more tired. A couple of months ago, my leadership coach drew a picture of a well on a piece of paper during one of our sessions and asked me to pin point where my energy levels were. I was shocked when I pointed to the area below the well and told her that my energy was below the bottom line. I was even more shocked when she asked me to give it a percentage and, without any thought, I said -100%. It was no exaggeration, I was running on empty. Something really had to change this time.
So, this blog is here to help me make that change. It’s here to remind me of the importance of the people and things I love. It’s here because I needed a wake up call to be the happy and healthy person I want to be. It’s here to make me stop and smell the roses.